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In the Year of our LORD Jesus Christ
2017
-- As of January 20, 2017
A Sigh Of Relief With The Inauguration Of Donald John Trump as President of the United States of America, And Hope For A Prosperous Future For All United States Citizens (we who are a nation called "the melting pot of the world"). We shall be great and exceptionally great again.


Peace and Liberty. Semper Fidelis.









Sunday, June 17, 2012

A Commercial Idea Gone Wrong -- {Fictional Humor}

Before his sudden divorce and just as sudden successful hiring by US Government development laboratories in Langley Virginia,  Gary was a just middle aged Conservative white guy with ideas...and lots of them.  Just give him a television set, and play a dozen commercials without any sound volume, and in several minutes he would be able to pick one or several of them, and come up with improved variants.  Unfortunately, after about 18 years of marriage, his wife and four (now all teenaged) children didn't understand or appreciate his talent.  When once they would listen and happily laugh together at the fun and silliness as a happy joyous family, there had now come the time when they had stopped listening altogether, and would leave the room if he got in one of his creative moods and dared to share it with them.


      Gary was laid off by a direct result of Obama creating a moratorium that intentionally destroyed the Oil Industry in the Gulf of Mexico.  Gary had recently been promoted to designing deep-water oil equipment, but because of the multi-billion dollar blackmail Obama extorted from the Industry and refusal to help Governors like Bobby Jindal of Louisiana while prolonging the crisis for all he could do to help wreck the U.S. economy,  despite 15 years with the same firm, Gary was laid off.  106 weeks later, Gary was still unemployed except for a few 6 or 20 hour a week temporary minimum wage jobs here and there, which the Obama Administration counted as 5 people being put back to work, but never as unemployed ever again.  The savings of the last 10 years and the IRA were all now gone, the family was down from two to just one car, but at least the house was paid off.  Unfortunately, Debbie, Gary's wife, was not able to make up the difference with her 24 hour a week part-time job at the Grocery Store, even though it was Union.  Layoffs were sweeping the industry, and despite having 22 years, she just took a demotion in order to keep from being laid off altogether.  


    One day, after spending an afternoon over watching a game with Gary, and then listening to Gary get really creative on the muted commercials after drinking too much beer,  Gary's brother-in-law Mike decided to put up $5,000 for Gary to be more practical with his life, and use his imagination to invent something that would make them both rich.  Mike was at that time, before he became (suddenly) unemployed, an Executive Vice-President at MM &  MacWallaby Invention Developers, LLC, based out of Sydney, Australia with patent branches in Auckland, New Zealand; Montreal, Canada; Paris, France; London, England; New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Washington, D.C. and  Boston (where Mike used to commute over one and a half  hours one way daily for 5 days a week). But following the incident of which I am about to tell you, Boston and all its 185 employees were laid off and scratched from the list.


  After a few weeks of spending an hour a day and 3 hours on the weekends in his garage workshop, and then finally visiting his old friends at the Industrial Plant that used to make the deep-water pipes and equipment Gary designed while working at his previous Oil job.  These old friends then manufactured his first literal proto-type according to his specs in his presentation report, a proto-type which he could then take and present to those he needed to.  At that time, Gary felt he was almost, almost but not quite ready to take his invention to Mike's Invention Marketing firm.   In Gary's mind, there was one more thing to do...'A Video sales-pitch".    Gary then borrowed another $2,500 advance from his brother-in-law Mike, along with the loan of  Mike's Commercial Grade  ultra-high definition video recording equipment.  Two days later, Gary returned the equipment in pristine condition.  The following day after that, Gary and Mike headed for the offices of    MM & MacWallaby Invention Developers, LLC, together. 


The Presentation Room was catered to with various trays of croissant sandwiches, fresh fruit and veggies,  Premium Coffees and Teas, Perrier Water and several Magnums of Champagne, cheese fondues, and a staff of  4 very attractive female caterers, and what looked like a dressed up penguin of an overweight battle-ax of a matron, who would look more at home as a Warden of a bunch of Lifer convicts than her then current assignment  (after which she would mysteriously retire for "personal reasons").


Gary came in quite prepared.  He had two sets of 16 page reports for each person that would be present at the 32 seat executive conference table.  One set was on the idea, design, and specifics of construction.  The second was a marketability package of who he thought his potential market would be, and why the company should select his product to promote. 


Gary gave a video presentation.  In the video, filmed at the shore on a clean and flat sandy fresh washed by the receding tide beach,  the video started off  with a couple of very voluptuous young women, scantily clad, as if the contest was who had the smallest bikini and the best {ahem}...well, you get the picture...holding the product and saying their lines on how great this product was.


One of the officers of  MM & MacWallaby Invention Developers, LLC then spoke up.


 "It's a thermos.  Are you trying to say you developed a thermos? "


"Correct."  Gary replied, while holding up the product, and continued.   "But not just any old thermos.  It is an adamantium titanium 3 liter thermos chiller with a special on/off point 3 ounce hydrogen gas activated chiller switch, and a special pressurization valve in this ring design... you see on the top side there?  Yes, that's it.  That's a high pressure ring we used to use in deep-water equipment in the Oil Industry when we wanted to counter-pressurize our equipment at below 6,000 feet so the equipment wouldn't crush.  
      As you see in the video, when the Hummer runs over the thermos it doesn't crush.  And the girls get so excited that their bikinis pop off.  Unfortunately, I had only enough money for one take... and in the only shot I had the money for, wouldn't you know it, their backs are to the camera.  Any rate, the thermos is filled with the beverage of choice, and then pressurized to a per square inch ratio of 36 point zero-zero-zero pounds, before activating the chill switch and..."


Another  MM & MacWallaby spoke up:
"Wait a sec.  The specs here on this first handout, on page 14 say 36,000 pounds per square inch.  Per square inch?!   It's a comma, not a decimal point."


"Well that's not right!" exclaimed Gary.  "Here, let me open it and show you."


"NOOOOOOO!!! " Everyone else in the room exclaimed! 


 Those were the last words ever said there.  With a huge rippling explosion, in the very next moment, the Presentation Room of  MM & MacWallaby Invention Developers, LLC instantaneously ceased to exist, and a hole was created through the 3 foot thick concrete and steel floor above, and the thermos  imbedding itself  some 17 1/2 inches into the concrete and steel floor upon which the Presentation Room of  MM & MacWallaby Invention Developers, LLC, had previously sat.


  No one was seriously injured, even with the blowing out of  42 of the 46 MM & MacWallaby office windows; the blast wave flattening the dry-walls around them and dislocating most of the walls for almost half of the building's sixth floor.  All the people in the Presentation Room of MM &  MacWallaby were flattened as if rolled over by a huge ocean wave of air compression, and stunned on an average of 3 - 6 days before having the mental capacity to be aware of their surroundings and communicate normally again.





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