Satire, Humor, and Editorial Criticism of the Constitutionally Illegal To Run For President Of The United States, Foreign Born Birth Citizen "R.Ed Ted" Cruz

Fictional Political  Humor:

 The New Freedom Tower built in New York City is now in place of the World Trade Centers destroyed by terrorists doing an unprovoked sneak attack in 2001.  Well, in that 104 story Freedom Tower, the neo-cons in Goldman Sachs and the Council On Foreign Relations decide to put up the money to name and dedicate a 92 story express elevator after Ted Cruz, which runs on the outside from one floor above the bottom and never ever makes it to the top.  

    Well, Jim, one of the engineers and designers of this new elevator operator required express elevator ends up putting his own creativity into the device, and on the first run for the device, he exclusively brings in 12 of star-struck Cruz campaigners who refuse to ever consider any citizenship issue or anything else could ever exclude Ted from running for President of the United States in 2016 or anytime else he chose.   The elevator has no buttons on the walls of it for the public to use, only an elevator operator who is strapped down like he was an astronaut with hand on what looks like a car's gear shift lever with a button to either side of the lever, a straight T-shaped thick metal shift stick by which he gently pushes forward to go down and pulls back to go up.  The elevator capacity is huge, able to easily transport 18 passengers at an accelerated speed of 66 miles per hour to the 93rd floor (the building excluding a 13th floor)  and  having a super heavy duty turbo capacity to haul up as much as 19,666 pounds.

     Well, there is a ribbon cutting dedication ceremony that Cruz and his wife refuse to attend because he isn't being offered a six figure showing up fee for his slush fund, on top of a six figure donation to his campaign demand for his showing up in a lear jet, driven by a limo for himself and his mistress and another limo for Heidi to ride in behind, to be escorted by a 50 man security detail, be given the best French Champagne so he can get "lit" on the way there, and then get "lit" all the way back and have a little adultery on the side.  

The Cruz supporters in attendance knew something was up when they saw the elevator operator, all strapped in, wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat.  The ride to the top was very swift.  So much so, that the Cruz supporters fell to the floor by means of the overwhelming increase in g-force (gravity increased by means of acceleration)  and felt pinned until the elevator stopped so swiftly, that in a pile of mass intertwined limbs and humanity, they flew up nearly  4 feet from the floor and plunged back down again in screams of agony.  

At this point, the Trump elevator operator smiled, and announced,

"Now folks, we will get to experience the real treat of the ride, the bungee cord... death plunge... free fall!!!"   

 Suddenly, with the push of a left on the lever button, the elevator did a free fall of 62 stories as all the passengers went anti-gravity into the air (and some up into the ceiling) as if the the floor dropped out and they were suddenly plunging to their deaths before the elevator bungee cord system took hold and began to slow the descent, as the people in a mangled glob grabbed one another and crushed into the elevator floor.  The elevator decelerated as it fell all the way down to the 3rd floor and then, in bungee cord fashion, reeled up again to the 73rd floor, tossing people as a mound two feet in the air before bungeeing down to the 5th floor and bungeeing back up again.  

About 6 minutes later, the elevator operator pushes the right lever button and re-pushes the left lever button that immediately puts on the brakes and stops the elevator.   On the floor of the elevator, now lies all these moaning interlocked Cruz supporters at the 34th floor.   The elevator operator then shifts using  standard operations, and descends back at regular speed down to the second floor base floor for the elevator.


Inside, the disoriented Cruz supporters were covered in vomit and the loss of the bowels and urinary tracts.  Hurriedly, the elevator operator unstraps from his astronaut like seat, and leaves the elevator, saying to the reporters gathered in front of the Second Story elevator opening  (as he quickly walks past them to the nearest restroom)  that he feels this ride is a cure for his chronic constipation, both physically and politically.  Politically, he means, by what he's leaving behind in the elevator.  A bunch of sick puppies who experienced the same ride their candidate would give the USA before totally destroying it and replacing it with Region 1 of a world-wide governance where we become slaves, leaving us battered, bruised, broken, a physical mess, and nothing like what we are supposed to look like or experience as human beings.  

After which, the Freedom Tower renames every toilet in the building to be painted red, after Rafael Edward or R.Ed (Cruz),  adding a vibrating seat, and calling the new toilets as "Cruzers".  While Ted might enjoy the experience either cross-dressed as he experiences a reliving of his Princeton University undergraduate days or in accompaniment with his adulterous liaisons looking for a more bumpy ride with "Stumpy", the rest of us are expected to know what the real implication of renaming the now colored red Freedom Tower toilet  is.  

Not So Fictional Political Humor, Perhaps? 

Joke:  

Question: "What would happen if Donald Trump's chauffeur stated that if he saw Ted Cruz in the rear-view mirror walking behind the vehicle he was driving, he wouldn't know it he would put it in reverse and hit the gas or not the same way that the normally whiny and sniveling Cruz says he would like to do to Donald Trump and finds humorous?"

Answer: Ted would go before the television cameras, channel John Boehner just as he is about to cry, stomp his foot, and pout to the Media how mean Donald Trump's people are being to him. Meanwhile, another 132 dollars was added to the Secret Service pool on how long before Cruz magically dives into the wheel well of a passing Mack Truck as the Secret Service on cue are all told to look up in the sky, and look up, (as if perhaps looking in upper windows and looking for overhead drones) as Heidi pushes Ted off the curb of a busy street, and if caught, later says he ('ol Ted) tripped (over a minimum of 7 continuous adulterous affairs or "infidelities"), but never the less he tripped (or he committed suicide...same thing), and she herself is perfectly willing to accept the Party nomination, have a debate without make-up on Halloween, and really scare the "bleep" out of the country!

No Joke: 

Question: What happened when a member of the Media actually asked Ted Cruz about his cheating on his wife?

Answer: Remember, this already happened. Just as Ted was channeling John Boehner and about to cry, Carly Fiorina suddenly became Ted's surrogate mommy and acting on maternal instincts, lashed out at the question for being asked as Ted, with the all too fake abused child look being happily rescued, began to smile as he look childishly on.  

Video at:  

 Great for those in diplomacy and psychology who study facial expressions and body language. 

And realizing Carly Fiorina wants to be his surrogate “mommy” and how he love being like a little child while she attacks those who righteously question him of his sins, while Fiorina wants him to play her new 5 year old that she never had, Rafael Edward  “R.Ed  Ted” Cruz announces on April 27, 2016 that [even though he has no legal way to be President of the United States,]  he chooses HER as his Vice-Presidential running mate, who then sings as if she were going on a field trip to play with her new "pretend" children, and infers by the song that  both Ted and Heidi are her girls?

 http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/04/27/carly_fiorina_sings_lullaby_at_cruz_ticket_announcement.html

 Meanwhile, as a foreign born foreigner himself, while United States Citizens get shafted, R.Ed Ted demands that H-1B Visa holders be immediately awarded $110,000 a year as minimum wage compensation, and and to hell with U.S. workers.  

http://www.computerworld.com/article/3062062/it-careers/with-fiorina-pick-cruzs-h-1b-stance-now-in-question.html

The joke is on YOU America, if you follow and adore the foreign Canadian Born wannabe usurper of R.Ed Ted Cruz.  

 Joke:  

Question: What would happen if Heidi Cruz ever pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on Ted?

Answer: Ted would have his male member buried and enshrined in the land of his birth, and in an homage to him, a Canadian Artist would erect a Princeton Sorority second story Bathroom where Ted used to sneak in cross-dressed as a woman, and do the peeping tom of scantily or undressed college gals as he struggled for glimpses between the door cracks as he sat on the toilet, only to find himself as the butt of the joke that he was his own john. It would be the artist rendition of a mannequin Ted, crossed dressed with his eye pressed to a bathroom toilet door crack, and a specially made mannequin of a 300 plus pound ugly broad, half dressed with many ripples of fat looking in the mirror at herself in disgust, and over a loud-speaker, a voice of the grand-father from that Shirley Temple movie shouting, "Heidi! Heidi!"

No Joke?  

And should you think it can't happen, there are two reliable sources from R. Ed Ted's Princeton days who reported to Wayne Madsen that as an undergrad, more than once, Cruz cross-dressed and did the same type of peeping Tom activity as an undergraduate at Princeton. 

Start at 15:15  (less than 1 minute for context)

https://youtu.be/EZX1gmBZQYA?t=15m15s

 No Joke:    

Question: When only about two dozen people even bothered to pay attention to Ted Cruz out of 800 others talking over him at a $1,000 a plate dinner, who were the two dozen cheering for Ted? 

Answer:  Goldman Sachs, Citibank, you know, the Wall Street Bankers whose loans make them know they own the Canadian Birth National Ted Cruz.   

Joke:

Question: If Ted ever drops dead from one of his adulterous exercises, what will Heidi demand be played at his private funeral (to be unattended by her or their kids) in a coffin that looked a lot like a sardine can so as to pass the word that he is now sleeping with the fishes and how,  by her arrangement,  he got there? 

Answer: Oh, Can-a-duh!

 No Joke:   An Uncovering Of What Must Be  R.Ed Ted's Idea Of A Joke On The U.S. Citizen SUCKER That Believes Into Ted    

Ted Cruz, who was a Canadian Birth Citizen and retained such citizenship without dispute until May 2014, who if stripped of any claim to be a United states Citizen would have been a BORN CITIZEN OF CANADA, can in NO WAY claim a Natural Born Citizenship to the United States where he was completely subject to U.S. jurisdiction only at his birth, because he would have been a State Citizen of a nation somewhere other than the United States and NOT have been "Stateless" were his United States Citizenship stripped at any time from birth to May 2014.

Ted Cruz is a Goldman Sachs - Citibank

http://dailycaller.com/2016/01/14/ted-cruz-admits-to-inadvertent-filing-error-after-not-disclosing-goldman-sachs-loan/

Globalist 

with his wife Heidi Cruz (who think tanks with the Council on Foreign Relations on how to destroy U.S. Sovereignty) 

http://www.cfr.org/canada/building-north-american-community/p8102

Make no mistake, Ted is NOT a Conservative except in the actor's role he plays to con the public. For example, Ted is all for gun control and majority passed legislation of 50% plus 1 that over-rides the Constitution. An example of this is that Ted is partial to banning anything legislated to bypass the Second Amendment of the Constitution.

http://jecarter4.tumblr.com/post/45355675162/march-14-2013-senator-ted-cruz-in-the-senate

When, in March 2015, Ted Cruz went to Liberty University, he was expected to speak, not make a speech that would surpass Obama's employment of mass hypnosis techniques, and be on the same command threshold as that found in the speeches of Adolf Hitler. The following are direct quotes from Ted Cruz's Indirect Induction Hypnosis Speech given at Liberty University where he opened his illegal to run for President of the United States campaigning.

"Imagine your parents when they were children.
Imagine a little girl...
Imagine a young married couple...
Imagine another little girl...
Imagine another teenage boy...

the purpose of the Constitution that as Thomas Jefferson put it, is to serve as chains...

imagine, imagine...

Imagine instead millions of people of faith...
Imagine instead...
Imagine innovation...
Imagine America...
imagine in 2017...
Imagine health care reform...
Imagine abolishing the IRS...
imagine a president...
imagine a legal immigration system...

imagine a federal government...
imagine a federal government...
imagine a federal government...
imagine a federal government...

imagine repealing every word of ...
Imagine embracing...
imagine a president...
imagine a president...
imagine a president...

imagine it’s 1775...
Imagine it’s 1776...
Imagine it was 1777...
Imagine it’s 1933...
Imagine it’s 1979...

I’m going to ask you to break a rule here today and to take out your cell phones, and to text the word constitution to the number 33733.
You can also text imagine. We’re versatile...."

And what is truth to Ted? To Ted Cruz, a Canadian born, and for the first years of his life, Canadian born and reared citizen,  “Imagine” and “Constitution” are interchangeable when it comes to the Constitution of the United States of America, and he wants YOUR $$$$, he wants YOUR cold hard cash or an electronic transfer of YOUR wealth for him to destroy YOUR Constitutional Rights is just fine and dandy to him, too.

It is directly intended by Ted Cruz himself in this March 2015 Ted Cruz mass hypnosis Liberty University Speech that those hypnotized be made to believe that the Constitution of the United States thus becomes a work of fiction and as a dream passing in the night, as if the Constitution is fake and something that is bypassed by time, the next day, and discarded, as something to be forgotten and cast behind. In advance, Ted is telling us what he intends to do to the Constitution of the United States if he ever suckers America the way Obama did into usurpation of the Presidency of the United States...

Cruz has said clearly in his Liberty University
mass indirect induction hypnosis speech
that he intends to shred and overthrow
the Constitution of the United States!

Do you really want to give up your rights of free speech, of freedom of religion, of the right to jury trial, of the right to bear arms, of the right to not have to house troops against your will and feed them at your own expense, of the right to an attorney, if arrested et cetera? Ted's mass hypnosis speech demands we discard our Bill of Rights.

When Ted states:
"imagine, imagine millions of courageous conservatives, all across America, rising up together to say in unison “we demand our liberty."
... Imagine millions of young people coming together and standing together, saying “we will stand for liberty.”
It followed the hypnotist's suggestion that " the purpose of the Constitution ...is to serve as chains...."

In other words, his goal is to throw off the chains and shackles of the Constitution through those he hypnotizes, and push for what his wife Heidi Nelson Cruz sat on a Council on Foreign Relations Board for: a North American Union, where Canada and the USA and Mexico merge into 1 regional Government of a 10 region one world Government that will be the New World Order. This is not much different from the 2009 Carbon Taxing Schemes by one of the world's leading think-tanks.

http://www.isn.ethz.ch/Digital-Library/Publications/Detail/?ots591=0c54e3b3-1e9c-be1e-2c24-a6a8c7060233&lng=en&id=96857

In January 2016, Breitbart reported
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/01/23/glenn-beck-administers-presidential-oath-of-office-to-ted-cruz-in-iowa/

[quote] 

Glenn Beck Administers ‘Presidential Oath of Office’ to Ted Cruz In Iowa
by MATTHEW BOYLE 23 Jan 2016

ANKENY, Iowa — 

Media personality Glenn Beck administered a mock presidential “oath of office” to Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) as he endorsed him on stage—and Cruz got the oath wrong when he took it.

“What is the oath of office that you have to take?” Beck asked Cruz after the Texas Senator joined him on stage after Beck’s more-than-half-hour-long speech endorsing Cruz.

“What—what?” Cruz replied.

“Dear God, if you don’t know this, everything else—“ Beck joked. “When you raise your right hand, what are you going to say?”

“I pledge to HONOR and defend the Constitution of the United States of America,” Cruz replied."    [unquote]

When I read this, the question was:
"TED will do what?"

And the answer based on what we know about him (and Heidi's and the CFR's and Goldman Sachs's and Citibank's and the billionaire Mercer's political hooks into funding Ted Cruz)   is that what he actually is saying is:
That he perhaps "will pledge to maintain the Constitution as nothing more than a Museum a relic and swear that he will continue to honor that we merely protect a document of what describes how the USA once was by armed guards 24/7"?

The Presidential Oath in the Constitution says: 

 "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” 

Ted himself meets with and is groomed by Henry Kissinger 

http://newswithviews.com/Nelson/kelleigh256.htm
(his wife's Council On Foreign Relations boss)
and adopts the same exclusive Foreign Policy Advisory firm as is used by Hillary Clinton.  

https://theintercept.com/2015/12/18/beacon-global-strategies/

Ted and his wife also utilize outside the United States Firms, and employs 

psychological harvesting data from a firm called Cambridge Analytica in the United Kingdom

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/dec/11/senator-ted-cruz-president-campaign-facebook-user-data

The Washington Post, which noted that in October 2015, $750,372 was paid out by the Cruz Campaign to Cambridge Analytica (a London based firm then having 85 employees)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/cruz-campaign-paid-750000-to-psychographic-profiling-company/2015/10/19/6c83e508-743f-11e5-9cbb-790369643cf9_story.html

(which apparently or allegedly will NOT include accounting in that figure any private contributions of services paid for the benefit of the Cruz Campaign by billionaire donor Robert Mercer.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/11/us/politics/hedge-fund-magnaterobert-mercer-emerges-as-a-generous-backer-of-ted-cruz.html?_r=2

Ted fundraises whining and moaning how billionaire Trump with $20,000,000 of his own money (travel on a large jet, auditorium rentals, security, et cetera takes a large chunk of that), is kicking his soft pansy backside.   On Friday April 22, 2016, his campaign yet again spammed me with the ff. quote representing “Ted” Cruz.

“Friend,

You may have heard -- Donald Trump won New York last night.

As I write you, Politico is breaking the news that Donald Trump has just committed $20 Million dollars to his campaign -- a move calculated to crush my campaign and wrestle the nomination away from Conservative Americans.

You also have probably heard that Hillary has also already raised well over $100 million for her campaign.

Both Trump and Clinton are used to throwing money around and using it to get whatever they want.

Friend, I'm now in the middle of a big-money firestorm, with Hillary Clinton on one side and Donald Trump on the other.

I'm quite literally fighting for my political life, and your response to this email will determine the success of this campaign and ultimately the direction of our country for years to come.

So, I'm personally asking you one more time: will you help me unite the GOP and take on Donald Trump and his friend Hillary Clinton? Will you make an urgent gift to help me compete with Donald Trump's billions?”

What BULLSH*T!!!  R.Ed Ted has billionaire Mercer and others funding his pansy backside, while Trump alone funds his own run for POTUS legitimately, unlike LYIN' TED who can't even use his real name.  Poor baby.  Go cry to your new mommy Carly, RAFAEL!  Be the next usurper who struts around wearing man diapers, and brag how when you go "poo-poo" Carly changes it for you, and calls you a bad baby as you go "goo-goo" "gah-gah" and baby powders your messy butt.  You go, baby man.  You go  ''SQUIRT"!

Cruz is Media KNOWN to have engaged in psychological manipulation of U.S. Citizen voters  in his campaigning, especially employing a British Psychological Front Operation of British Intelligence to put this foreign born citizen of CANADA over on unsuspecting psychographically and psychological behavioral warfare targeted U.S. citizenry.  

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/cruz-campaign-credits-psychological-data-and-analytics-for-its-rising-success/2015/12/13/4cb0baf8-9dc5-11e5-bce4-708fe33e3288_story.html

Obama used hypnosis techniques in order to help win the 2008 election.

January 6, 2008:
The Washington Post "Swept up in the Obama Moment"
"An Obama event is not a friendly place for cynics, skeptics, or the chronically unimpressed. This is revival-tent stuff. The senator from Illinois used the metaphor of a religious conversion: "I am going to try to be so persuasive, so that those of you who are still wavering...will suddenly come to the conclusion -- a light beam will shine through -- will light you up -- and you will experience an epiphany -- I have to vote for Barack!"

See Campaign video at 31 seconds to 45 seconds

 https://youtu.be/mopkn0lPzM8

See also:
Seeing the Light in South Carolina By Gal Beckerman JANUARY 25, 2008

http://www.cjr.org/campaign_desk/seeing_the_light_in_south_caro.php

“At some point in the evening, a light is going to shine down and you will have an epiphany and you’ll say, ‘I have to vote for Barack.’”

If that epiphany never came, you couldn’t blame Obama."

But Cruz has engaged in the same mass deception, using mass hypnosis techniques, most notably with his Liberty University IMAGINE speech. 

Hypnotic Inductions and How To Use Them Properly

http://www.hypnosisblacksecrets.com/how-to-hypnotize/hypnotic-induction-methods-and-the-ways-to-use-them

"There are several kinds of hypnotic inductions varying in approach length of time and tone.
...Indirect Induction. ...you use analogies or metaphors. Indirect induction is used for subjects who resist any direct suggestions. When you use indirect induction, the subject doesn’t resist the suggestion, because he doesn’t know he is receiving it."

These hypnosis techniques that Ted Cruz employed are in many ways similar to what Obama did, but on steroids in trying to recreate Obama's 2008 mass hypnosis "presidential" campaigning techniques  

http://www.westernjournalism.com/how-obama-literally-hypnotized-america-part-1/

Olavo de Carvalho on 20 August 2008, warned that the psychological engineering conducted by the Obama Campaign in 2007-2008 was first experimented and carried out in Brazil.

[Link no longer active, but was:

http://www.brazzil.com/articles/195-august-2008/10100-obamas-psychological-blackmail-has-been-done-before-in-brazil-with-success.html  ] 

[Again, Link no longer active and altered by Brazzil.com under its Communist Regime.]

The use of psychological engineering was employed,
"… not to win over voters through rational persuasion, but to weaken, shock, and stupefy them to the point of making them accept every loss, every humiliation, every defeat, just in order not to contradict the assumed moral obligation to elect him, it being of little importance whether he actually is an enemy in disguise.” - - Olavo de Carvalho, 20 August 2008 

In Brazil, they eventually brought in a COMMUNIST Regime and leaders there looted the voters and the country.  

 Cruz employs the same techniques and wants America to be part of Region 1 of a 10 Region Global Governance, where we LOSE national sovereignty, and 19 other nations by Trans-Pacific Trade Partnership example alone (not to mention insane European wannabe dictators over the USA  who invite filthy backward and barbaric sub-human behaving  jihadis to loot and rape them by the millions) to dictate to us that we have to pay slave taxes to foreign nations for any tax THEY wish to pass because our government no longer has a voice, it is but a 1 in 20 vote, and we will have to submit, live with rolling blackouts, poor sanitation, be given permission to even breathe because of Carbon Emissions we exhale, or be executed as an excuse for the environment or a convenience of a Tyranny that perhaps wants to reduce unemployment by TERMINATING undesirable (non-globalist) labor pools.  NO JOKE.  

[Updated on 4/28/2016 with minor editing for clarity.]